The Hunting of The Shark

this very British story of a brilliant pop-up (or perhaps bite-down) theatre of the absurd.”
Jay Merrick, The Independent
” The Independent
Fully illustrated in colour RRP £14.99 plus p&p











Untitled 2011
The net curtains of seething disapproval twitched –
'Is that a shark on the roof at number two?'
The tea-towels of umbrage and outrage flapped –
'There goes the neighbourhood – it’s turned into a zoo'
'Is it a piscatorial satellite dish?î, ìHas it been raining fish?'
'Has a new taxidermist come to town?'
'It oughta be in the water not headfirst in bricks and mortarî
ìHave the oceans turned upside down?î
ìOnly certain creatures should be seen on a roof'
(the Captain Ahabs cried)
'Pigeons, cat burglars, Santa Claus
And if you’re fond of Eastern European Jewish musicals -
a fiddler or two
But not a great big bloody fibreglass Jaws!'
And yet this shark is still basking in suburbia
Perched upon its dorsal fin a songbirds’ choir
It’s a Salvador Dali chimney-stack
A 'splendid lark', an anarchic Oxford spire
Forget the spinechiller-thriller-Spielberg-killer
The dum-DUM, dum-DUM, dum-DUM skimming glide
Forget pin-striped sharks, forget pathetic sharks
Forget sharks pickled in formaldehyde
This shark has predatory fissile-missile fangs
It’s a slate-and-plaster-eater from on high
It’s hammered its head into our secret dread
This shark is shock and awe falling from the sky
And now as our bombs still drop on distant lands
Unwanted gifts showered in the dark
If you think that we’re all as safe as houses tonight -
Then think again – of the Headington Shark

by elvis mcgonagall for 'saturday live' 8/10/2011 - poet, twit and armchair revolutionary does the rhyming this week.